Whose in Control?
As a lovely young woman with a magnetic personality & good head on my shoulders… I am rather used to having to manage my relations with the men I encounter. Whether through regularity or as I am walking down the street. It is my new M.O. not to retreat! Which remains the question on how to proceed without giving in to self defeat. Let me tell you Friends, these waters are tricky!
Let’s begin with my male figure model “friend.” Who invited me to pair with him on stage about a month back. Since then some interesting things have popped up! … Our stage show was such a hit that we both got booked for a run of sculpture. Yesterday, he arrived at class with cookies & insisted that I eat them because according to him– I’m too skinny. Sure thing buddy! What’s bothersome here is that he is trying to tell me how he would like to see my body. Later he let on that he is also a fan of fetish & fantasy.
It’s difficult to form into words the frustrated feelings that have been surfacing for me in regards to the on-going encounters with predatory men. By predatory, I’m referring to their cunning behavior in order to befriend you, or hire you, in order to get something other.
A Female Friend, who is an exceptional lawyer, has explained over vodka that no matter which industry you’re in the stories are all the same. That her office in Florida sent out memo’s for women to wear skirts in court not pants. So annoying. The direct result of this conversation is my decision to move forward with people who are friendly towards me, setting down my own secure boundaries with each new opportunity.
To be fair, the one & only time I’ve been involved with a co-worker was of my own fruition. He was totally my boss. I felt safe. We dated…
Currently, the universe is asking that I amp up the levels of security within myself. With tests!
There’s another one even more tempting. The money is good, but the situation is sketchy at best.
What I have come to understand is the importance of my feelings on any matter.
And, that it is not necessary to provide an explanation when my intuitions are instructing my actions.
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