Still, I remain silent.
My career of exposing myself for the inspiration of others is powered by my own desire for safe exposure.
Uber thirst drains my cup. While I appear to lap it up.
It has been my intention to connect my “secret self” with the person publicly perceived…
So, here is a story of my morning glory: Or, “two step one hop.” Silent retreat into professional standards.
The women adored him. Of course. Heavy breathing, super sweaty, touchy feely. That’s just the way it is…
Two in particular chatty Kathy’s made themselves visible to the naked eye.
A dangerous move in this jungle.
One, a Friend, would have me over to talk about him.
Once, the words almost sprang from my lips:
How does it feel to be hit on at work?
That would’ve hit him…
Silence: My own mastery.
Time went on these ladies became frienemies.
The price of gender imbalance.
A move I dare no longer make. No man is worth such high a stake.
Silence is golden.
The truth will set you free!!
What these two did not know is that their guru had his sights set on me.
Awkwardly, we worked through our mornings.
The challenge of exposing emotions in a work environment for a shy guy is quite the quiet show to watch.
Clarity came in the form of after hour text messages. Which said nothing.
Their mere presence said all they needed to say quite loudly.
This past Saturday, we had a party.
One Lord sat at a table filled with many ladies.
An outsider to begin with. With severe nervous tension from my recent suspension…
Moving around the circle, I sat next to Bill, whose smile called me over.
Both Venus & the Angels were there with a warning.
They are never silent.
But really, how was I to work my way around it?
So I sat down for a chat.
And, that was that.
Just like that I am the witch. A perfect scape goat. No maiden at the table had a chance. This was now apparent.
Fortunately or unfortunately this is not a story of mutual reception. It is one of nervous tension that no longer wishes to remain silent.
All too often I am the object of affection. A very dangerous situation!!
Particularly for my reputation.
The exploration of how to maneuver this may last an entire lifetime. Or, more!
My quest now is to decide whether or not to remain sitting silently.
A Good Friend is already mad at me.
What were you talking about?
Nothing..really. The topic was of no matter. Really.
Though, I did not mention my new boyfriend. It seemed weird to just blurt it out. Still figuring it in to the conversation.
So, I am a Figure Model. People adore me. I Love my boyfriend, Loki. His continued acceptance of me as I reveal my true colors, hurt feelings and dark issues may even be the encouragement I needed to start showing face here. His meeting me with Love after I spill my guts is bringing me to see my own dark side in a much lighter manner.
Hip, hip, hooray!!
I used to have a secret blog where I would vent about my personal issues in effort to hide my own undesirables.
Ha! Yes. This exists.
So tired of hiding.
Project: Solidifying Self takes one more step forward.
I don’t have anything against Bill.
Just no interest either.
Hopefully Mercury doesn’t come back to bite me.
: ) ( :
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